majflodder:

Touching grass isn’t enough I need to move to the shire and live in a hobbit hole

(via thisisnumber3)

cheeseanonioncrisps:

Waking up from your decade long enchanted sleep to learn that, not only is sharing your True Name with the fae okay now, but there’s actually a rule against using a false name when entering the faerie market.

Your friends admit that this causes some problems— it’s way easier to fall victim to a false deal, or get stolen away now— but everyone goes to the fae market to buy their goods so what are you gonna do? Not see your friends? Go out of your way to buy more expensive stuff from the human market? Yeah right.

Also yes they still perform their light-footed fluttering dances under the silvery light of the full moon, but in order to get in you have to first watch the dancers perform two short plays about why you should shop at certain local businesses. Also if you want to talk about the performance afterwards then you need to trade them your True Name, your home address, your date of birth and your personal interests.

You do this so that the fae can this information on a scroll and give it to local business owners.

Another part of the deal they broke is that nobody may talk negatively about those businesses within the market walls. In fact, your friends say, the enchantment is so effective that it’s very difficult to talk negatively about anything at all.

“I know it sounds un-good,” your friend admits. “But there are loopholes.”

“In retrospect,” another friend says, “I wish the town had voted un-yes to teaching the fae about money.”

“On the plus side,” the first friend says, “I hear the market is investing in one of those enchanted statues that responds to questions with deliberately ambiguous riddles, so long as you trade it your memories of secondary school.”

“Oh, cool. Is that why they’re burning down the library?”

You wonder if it’s too late to go back to sleep.

(via absentminded-potato)

lycandrew222:

(via littlemacattack)

typhlonectes:

(via littlemacattack)

chronicillnesshumor:

ALT

(via walrusberries)

thememedaddy:

(via walrusberries)

herssian:

i recently had a thought. which, as you can imagine, was stressful

(via crimsonclad)

vacueabissi:

tiktoks-for-dead-pope:

(via littlemacattack)

coyotette:

(via littlemacattack)

beardedmrbean:

(via absentminded-potato)

typhlonectes:

(via walrusberries)

lesvegas:

A few years ago while trying to find ways to commit suicide as painlessly as possible, I came across a PDF of Dr. Paul Quinnett’s The Forever Decision. Thinking it might go into actual methods of suicide (I read an article once that actually did that and was trying to find it again) I started to read it, and I think I only got about two pages in before I was crying too much to actually see the words.

I downloaded the PDF to my hard drive and I open it again whenever I’m feeling too suicidal to do much else, but not enough to start booking a ride to the hospital. And every time without fail I only go up to a few pages before backing off and choosing to live another day just because suicide suddenly seems even more unbearable than whatever the hell upset me in the first place.

All the book really does is [I’m pulling a summary from GoodReads here as, again, I’ve read no more than 5 pages] “discusses the social aspects of suicide, the right to die, anger, loneliness, depression, stress, hopelessness, drug and alcohol abuse, the consequences of a suicide attempt, and how to get help.”

But it also starts with the author kindly asking the reader to complete the book before going through with anything, and for some reason I’m compelled to really just try to read it all before finalizing everything. Despite not yet completing it (hopefully never will) I think I can safely say it’s saved my life at least a few times now.

It’s intentionally legal to copy and redistribute this book to keep it as accessible as possible, and it’s very easy to find, but here’s a link for it anyways.

(via absentminded-potato)

bearforceone00:

punkjabi:

#mynothing

(via walrusberries)

creepymutelilbugger:

creepymutelilbugger:

what are y’all’s strategies for trying to convince yourself there is joy in your future and that your time is worth being alive for

awesome idea trying that now

(via littlemacattack)

brucefromfamilyguy:

(via walrusberries)